Paralysed reformatted
by Mosquito
Summary: First story in series- Angel kidnaps Willow and dumps her with Spike


Title: Paralyzed  
  
Author: Mosquito  
  
Pairing: Willow/Spike, Angelus/Drusilla  
  
Category: UST, songfic, Violence (attempted Rape)  
  
Summary: Angelus captures Willow and paralyses her, then dumps her with Spike.  
  
Dedication: To Sasha, the best friend and shoulder there is.  
  
Note: The songs used are 'The power of love' by Frakie goes to Hollywood, 'My Way' by Frank Sinatra, 'My immortal' by Evanescence, and 'Traveling Soldier' by the Dixie Chicks.  
  
It started out as a night no different than any other. She usually left the house, trailed through the graveyards, hoping she wouldn't get slaughtered on her way to the library in order to help with researching. Tonight however, she knew something was up. Luckily she didn't have stay home and write that English commentary that was due the next day, having been her usual studious self and done it the night before. 'Why save for tomorrow, what you can do today,' ran through her head. She moved slowly and quietly trying not to draw the attention of any vampires, and especially now, with Angelus back and Spike and Drusilla on the loose, she couldn't afford to make any noises to reveal herself.  
  
She at least had hoped all day that she wouldn't run into her best friend's former lover. Buffy had finally reached the point where she believed that she was ready to stake him, Willow thought, or, was almost at the point. She knew that Buffy loved Angel, but that she had to kill Angelus. The world was just far too unsafe with him moving around freely. Willow knew that Buffy had a tough decision to make, and she would stand behind her friend one hundred percent. Therefore, in order to show her support she was heading for another research party, and headed towards the first cemetery.  
  
At first all she encountered were fledglings. "Um, hi guys, you don't want me, I don't taste that good." She said in hopes of them leaving her alone.  
  
"I'm sure you taste as juicy as the last person I drained. Don't worry." One said coming up to her. However, when he came into range, Willow threw a spell she had been preparing at him, sending him flying backwards. The other vampires having seen it all began attacking, and before long all were merely piles of dust in between the grass blades.  
  
"Come to think of it, I think I can take care of myself." She said feeling a little more reassured after her amazing kill.  
  
Clapping resonated from behind her, and she turned to find the vampire most of her thoughts the last two years had focused on leaning against a tree and smiling.  
  
"Beautiful, Willow. Your slaying always looks like art. You make it look so easy to kill. Even easier than the slayer does." He said, his voice so soft it was almost a mumble.  
  
"Yeah, well, practice makes perfect." She replied softly.  
  
"So it does, witch, so it does." His wicked smile sending chills down her spine. Then before she knew he lifted a hand and mumbled an incantation.  
  
At first she felt no different. Then her knees started to get weak, and she started losing her balance. Eventually she collapsed right onto the ash of the vampires she's slain mare moments before.  
  
"As you said, practice. You know what I have practice in, witch?" Angelus's voice was growing softer, and before she lost conscience Willow heard his final word as he came to stand above her and look down on her, "torture."  
  
She couldn't move anything. She couldn't even feel anything. Opening her eyes she tried to look around but found she only could move her eyes. Taking in as much as she could and automatically identified the building she was in as the factory. She tried opening her mouth but found she couldn't. Then she made a noise, but all that resulted in was informing her captors that she was conscience.  
  
"Look my Angel," She heard Drusilla say. "The witch is awake. Can I play with her now? Miss Edith and I were going to have a tea party and we invited her to take part." "Not just yet, Dru." Angelus replied. "With the witch out of the way I'll weaken the slayer, I'll turn her, and then allow her friends to kill her."  
  
"Oh, my Angel, you know just how to show a girl entertainment."  
  
"Yes, Pet, if you enjoy  
  
Willow couldn't see any of the faces attached to the voices, but she knew them all and she was well aware of the trouble she was in.  
  
Then all of a sudden Angelus leaned over and looked into her eyes. "Have a nice nap, witch? I think I'll enjoy you later. At the moment I feel a little hungry." Then he was gone from her field of view again.  
  
"Spike, you'll be taking care of her when I don't need her. She'll be sleeping with you."  
  
Willow thought she could hear the smile.  
  
"Come, Drusilla, lets go get something to eat." Angelus said.  
  
"Bye, my Spike, mummy'll bring you something to eat." And then they were gone.  
  
There was silence for a while, and then she heard Spike sigh. The squeaking of wheels then followed his unnecessary breath, as he maneuvered himself around. Mare moments later her she saw his face hovering above hers. "Hello pet," he said, "what have you gotten yourself into now?"  
  
She looked at him in fear of what he might do to her in her vegetative state and he must have caught it, because he said: "Don't worry pet, I won't harm you."  
  
Willow released a breath she had been holding and then waited for his next move.  
  
"I'm going to take you to my room, okay? I don't want any of the minions accidentally thinking their sire left them something too feast on." Then lifting her into his arms he carried her out of the room. Carrying? Spike can walk? She thought as she limply was laid down onto a soft bed, and a pillow was neatly laid under her head. She watched as Spike left the room and then returned pushing his wheelchair.  
  
Perplexed he sat at the edge of the bed and looked at her. "You can't move a thing can you?"  
  
Willow made an uh-uh noise.  
  
Spike sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Luv, if I could, I'd just carry you out of here, but without Angelus lifting whatever thrall he has over you, I can't. If he doesn't you could be like this for the rest of your life. Even killing him won't help. We'll just have to force you to stay alive till he reverses it." He lifted a hand, and Willow watched as he brushed some strands out of her face. "Are you hungry?"  
  
Willow thought for a moment and then made a positive noise. Spike nodded, pulled a chord and then sat in his wheelchair. Moments later a minion walked in.  
  
"Yes sire?" She asked looking nervous.  
  
"I want you to go out and get some protein drinks." He said looking at her in earnest.  
  
"Yes sire," she said and then slunk away out of the room.  
  
Spike got back out of his chair and then came back to sit on the bed. "You'll be loosing weight from them, but they'll keep you alive, pet. Now, do you need anything else? Do you need to urinate or for me to scratch something?"  
  
Again Willow made the negative noise.  
  
"Okay. So, what shall we do while we're waiting?" He asked looking down at her. However Willow's eyes were already starting to droop with tiredness. Spike smiled gently. "Go ahead and sleep luv, I'll protect you, don't worry." And then as her eyes began to close she heard him sing to her, softly and she listened in staying awake just as long as his voice was to be heard.  
  
Aye  
  
Feels like fire  
I'm so in love with you  
Dreams are like angels  
They keep bad at bay  
Love is the light  
Scaring darkness away  
I'm so in love with you it burns the soul  
Make love your goal  
  
The power of love  
A force from above  
Cleaning my soul  
Flame on burn desire  
Love with tongues of fire  
Purge the soul  
Make love your goal  
  
I'll protect you from the hooded claw  
Keep the vampires from your door  
When the chips are down I'll be around  
With my undying  
Death defying love for you  
Envy will hurt itself  
Let yourself be beautiful  
Sparkle love, flowers and pearls and pretty girls  
Love's like an energy  
Rushing in rushin' in inside of me  
  
The power of love  
A force from above  
Cleaning my soul  
Flame on burn desire  
Love with tongues of fire  
Purge the soul  
Make love your goal  
  
This time we go sublime  
Lovers entwined  
Devine divine  
Love is danger  
Love is pleasure  
Love is pure the only treasure  
I'm so in love with you it burns the soul  
Make love your goal  
  
The power of love  
A force from above  
Cleaning my soul  
The power of love  
A force from above  
A skyscraping dove  
Flame on burn desire  
Love with tongues of fire  
Purge the soul  
Make love your goal  
  
Just as he held the last word, fading out, she was asleep.  
  
When Willow awoke, she felt an arm lying on her stomach and she smelled the musk of Spike. He was sleeping next to her. Soundlessly. And she really needed to pee. She began making soft noises hoping to wake him up. When that didn't help she finally put all her energy into it and made one hell of a noise.  
  
Spike shot up in bed and then looked at her. "Oh Bollocks!" He said rubbing his eyes. "What's wrong luv? Are you hungry?"  
  
No.  
  
"Do you need to use the bathroom?"  
  
Yes.  
  
"Okay." He said getting up, and then lifted her into his arms again peddling off into the bathroom, which was conveniently attached to the bedroom. He placed her on the toilet and then removed her underwear holding her up. When she was done he put her underwear back on her, flushed and carried her back to the bed. She knew that if she could see herself in the mirror she's be beet-red.  
  
"No need to blush, pet," Spike said after placing her back on the bed and rearranging her so that she was decent. "It's not your fault you're like this." He saw that her eyes were on anything but him, so he caught her attention by touching her chin, "Look at me, pet, it's not your fault. Angelus is just a wanker. I thought it would be fun having him back, but I'm starting to miss the bleedin' poof. It wasn't your fault he became like this. He should have been able to restrain himself and it's the slayers fault she couldn't hold herself from shagging him. I know that I would if I knew that I would hurt such a gem as you."  
  
A tear ran down her cheek and he brushed it away with his thumb. Then leaning down he captured her lips with his. However as soon as he realized what he was doing, he pulled himself up, grabbed his wheelchair and rushed out of the room, getting into it when he was at the door.  
  
What the hell are you doing?! He demanded of himself. She's the slayer's Witch! What do you think is going to happen to you if Angelus catches you snogging with her? Did you think the two of you were going to have a happy ending? You're such a sod.  
  
He looked around for one of his minions and then spotted one of Dalton's minions walking around. "You!" He called it over.  
  
"Yes?" It asked looking at the floor. Spike smiled he liked this guy he looked- bookish.  
  
"Who do you follow? Has someone claimed you yet?" He asked. A fledgling without a sire was always up for grabs, but with all of the commotion going on with Angelus and his little games no one had been up to claiming any of the ones left behind. Mostly they had figured that the Witch would have finished them off, but now with her capture, and this minions bookish nature, Spike thought that it might be to his interest to take this one as his.  
  
"No." It replied.  
  
"Good." Then morphing into his demon face and using a fang he sliced his wrist open and offered it to the vampire.  
  
At first it just looked at the bleeding wrist, but then he morphed and sank his teeth into the offered limb, just as Spike thought he would. Though very independent, young vampires always looked for belonging, for the teachings and the approval of a master.  
  
"I take you as my childe," he said formally in the Vampiric toung, "You will obey me when I say. You are mine to command, discipline, teach, and if need be kill."  
  
"Yes, sire," the childe, replied.  
  
Spike nodded. "Good. Now, what's you're name?"  
  
"Ronan."  
  
"Ronan, Irish are you?"  
  
"My parents, sire."  
  
Spike nodded. "Well, Ronan, are you a book person?"  
  
"Oh yes, Dalton and I spent a lot of time reading and researching for you. He sired me because of my passion for books."  
  
"Good. I want you to get to your books and find a communication spell, one that allows for two beings to create a telepathic connection. And you are NOT to tell anyone. I will be severely displeased if others know. Do you understand?"  
  
"Yes, sire."  
  
"Go."  
  
Spike watched as his new childe moved out of the room in search of the information he sought. It had been a long while since he had taken siring duties. Usually he fed fledglings human morsels that he found. Or their own blood for that matter.  
  
He decided to roll around for a while and find himself something to eat before he headed back to the witch and fed her.  
  
Oh, God, Spike kissed me. Oh God! Spike kissage! What was he thinking? We're enemies. We're not supposed to be having smoochies. It's wrong! But even through her thoughts, she knew that if she had movement in her arms, she would have touched her lips, wishing he had never stopped kissing her. The kiss they had shared was a soft one, not passionate, but full of feeling and comfort, and perhaps something that was something that could evolve into love. She knew that deep down, she longed for him to do it again, to take her breath away with no more than a touch of their lips. There had been no tongue, but she longed for it, for the passion she knew he could erupt in her.  
  
They weren't Oz smoochies though- Oz! Oh god, what had she done? She's kissed another man and hadn't even thought of her boyfriend. What kind of a girlfriend was she? But, those lips, they were so soft, and comforting, and- NO! Think of Oz. Boyfriend- Oz. Enemy-Spike. But his lips... and the smoochies...  
  
Her thoughts strayed from one point to the other. The battle that was in her mind took most of the afternoon; the contemplation of what ifs wracked her brain, until she was disturbed by a knock on the door. Not being able to answer she just waited for it to open. Maybe it's Spike her thoughts betrayed her and her heart began to pump furiously in anticipation. However, when the door opened, instead of Spike, she just made out a demon with glasses and a pointed nose poked his head around the door. If it weren't for the demon face, Willow would have thought the vampire a watcher.  
  
"Oh, excuse me, but have you seen Master Spike?" He asked formally moving into the room to look at her.  
  
Willow made no noise, and hoped for the best; mainly that he would leave her alone and not have his evening meal on her. However, she knew he could clearly see she was awake.  
  
Hearing no reply from her, he pressed on, "I do need to see him urgently, madam, would you tell him that I was here?" Again after hearing no reply he walked further into the room.  
  
Willow tensed mentally. She couldn't even scream she was so frightened. Where was Spike? He had promised to protect her.  
  
The vampire got closer and closer, until he stood at the side of the bed looking down at her. Her eyes followed his, fearful of what he might do. However, he surprised her.  
  
"Don't worry madame witch, I won't hurt you. I don't feed on humans like most vampires. I think I'm allergic to something in the blood. I only drink cows blood."  
Willow felt the tension starting to fade as he continued to talk.  
  
"When we were in Prague, I was researching in the state library. I was there for a year and was about to go home to Ireland, where I'm originally from, when Master Dalton sired me. But then he almost killed me on the first hunt, when he was showing me how to kill. After about a half hour, my body started to fail as a reaction to human blood, and ever since then I've been on a strict cow diet."  
  
Willow was once again at ease. The facial expressions of the demon, and his semi-sad tale made her feel more comfortable around him. She was just settling in, ready to keep listening, when she heard a voice yell:  
  
"Childe?! What the bloody hell are you doing in my room?!"  
  
Spike's voice sent shivers down Willow spine, her heart into palpitations, and her stomach into flips. Good grief she thought.  
  
"Sorry, Sire, I have the information you were searching for, and when I came to look for you, I saw the witch, so I decided to keep her company. She was scared, sir."  
  
Willow knew that Spike would be speechless. If she could have smiled she would have.  
  
"Next time, you don't see me here, you wait OUTSIDE until I get back. Is that understood Ronan?"  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
"Good. Now, what do you have for me?" Willow heard the wheels of the chair move as he came closer to her and Ronan.  
  
"I have the spell you sought, sire. I also took the liberty of acquiring the ingredients." Willow saw him pull out a bag of things from his pocket and hand it over. "All you have to do is grind the leaves and then add then to water and say the Latin words, which I marked in the book, and then both of the people drink it. That should create the bond."  
  
"Good. Go and get the water ready and bring it here. Then we'll start."  
  
"Yes sire." Ronan said and then turning to Willow said, "If you'll excuse me, madam, I'll be right back." Then took off to do Spike's bidding.  
  
"Odd, bloke," She heard Spike say, and snorted in reply. "Red," She moved her eyes until they were focused on him and felt her heart begin to increase in heartbeats, "I'm going to put a spell on us."  
  
Oh no she thought  
  
"It'll allow us to communicate telepathically. I can't help you if you, if I don't know what to do. Is that alright?"  
  
Willow thought about it for the moment, and realized what he said made sense, so she made a positive noise.  
  
Just then Ronan came back in with the ingredients. "Sire, I have it." He said and began setting up. When he was done he boiled the water and began chanting whilst putting in the herbs. When it was done he offered it to Spike, who drank out of it, and then brought it to Willow's lips and poured some down, her body instinctively swallowing. All of a sudden she began to feel drowsy, and the room started to spin. She closed her eyes and fell into deep sleep.  
  
She woke up to the sounds of crashing outside the room. I wonder what's going on. She thought.  
  
"They're probably all scrounging for the wanker's leftovers." Spike  
replied.  
  
Oh MY GOD! You heard me?!  
  
"Luv," Spike smiled as he walked towards her, and moved some hair out of her eyes, "I've been hearing you for over two hours. Interesting dreams you have, Red," he smirked.  
  
Please tell me I didn't embarrass myself, she groaned. Spike's smile grew and Willow new she had. Can it get any worse?  
  
"You could be running around school yelling for cheese."  
  
Erg the cheese Dream. I've had that one a number of times in the last few years. Stupid dream. The monkey always gives me the wiggins. And then there's the one where I have to sing... oh god... singing not good. Oh, and the one where I fail everything... She heard Spike chuckle at her babbling, Hey! Don't laugh at me! I'm not the one scared that someone will figure out I'm a softy.  
  
Spike turned and looked at her. "I'm not a softy!"  
  
Are too!  
  
"Am not!"  
  
Are too!  
  
"Am not!"  
  
Willow sighed mentally. Spike, I'm hungry.  
  
"Alright, pet." He said and reached over for the protein drink and then sat on the bed and helped her drink it, pouring a little bit at a time into her mouth.  
  
Thanks, Spike.  
  
"No problem." He said and then pulled the covers over her and smoothed some hair away from her face.  
  
Willow knew that sunrise was approaching as she saw his eyes start to droop and waited for him to come and lye next to her. Will you sing for me? I really like your voice.  
  
"What would you like to hear?"  
  
I dunno. You pick something. Willow watched as he thought for a moment, and then listened as he began to sing.  
  
And now the end is near  
  
So I face the final curtain  
  
My friend, I'll say it clear  
  
I'll state my case of which I'm certain  
  
I've lived a life that's full  
  
I've traveled each and every highway  
  
And more, much more than this  
  
I did it my way  
  
Regrets, I've had a few  
  
But then again, too few to mention  
  
I did what I had to do  
  
And saw it through without exception  
  
I planned each charted course  
  
Each careful step along the byway  
  
Oh, and more, much more than this  
  
I did it my way  
  
Yes, there were times, I'm sure you know  
  
When I bit off more than I could chew  
  
But through it all when there was doubt  
  
I ate it up and spit it out  
  
I faced it all and I stood tall  
  
And did it my way  
  
I've loved, I've laughed and cried  
  
I've had my fails, my share of losing  
  
And now as tears subside  
  
I find it all so amusing  
  
To think I did all that  
  
And may I say, not in a shy way  
  
Oh, no, no not me  
  
I did it my way  
  
For what is a man, what has he got  
  
If not himself, then he has not  
  
To say the words he truly feels  
  
And not the words he would reveal  
  
The record shows I took the blows  
  
And did it my way  
  
The record shows I took the blows  
  
And did it my way  
  
Softy, told you so, she said, but before Spike could react she was fast asleep.  
  
When Spike woke up, Willow was humming to herself. Though, he couldn't place the tune, but if memory served it was a popular one from the radio. "Evnin', Luv." He said, squeezing her a little with the arm that was thrown over her waist.  
  
Hi. Willow seemed to be a little more chipper.  
  
"What you humming there?"  
  
No matter what.  
  
"Ah, boy bands. Knew I recognized the tune somewhere. Maybe I'll sing that one to you tonight," he smiled.  
  
I'd like that, He heard Willow reply. She was so beautiful. What did you say? Spike heard Willow gasp and then realized that by thinking it, she had been able to read it.  
  
"Um, nothing," He said quickly getting out of bed and heading towards the bathroom for a shower. He now realized how dangerous the bond really was. None of his thoughts were private now. Anything and everything he thought, the witch would be able to hear- If it wasn't for her vegetative state it would almost be dangerous. A witch knowing the thoughts of her enemy was the most vicious. She could plan every, and any, attack.  
  
As the water cascaded down his alabaster body he allowed his mind to just feel the sensations that were washing over him. His time in the shower was when he could be himself. His quiet time in which he cleaned all the grime of the day off, in which the emotional and painful actions of the day were put on hold. He allowed himself a moment to feel as if nothing was wrong. The world was right. He was a vampire, his princess was still in his bed, his sire was in the adjacent room with his sire, and Angelus and Spike's bond was that of close personal friendship. He sighed at the thought.  
  
Stepping out of the shower he was forced to fact the realities of the world: Drusilla was not in his bed, but in Angelus', Darla was long dusted by his sire, and the bond he had had with him was no longer there. All there was was hate, anger, a thirst for domination, and jealousy. He wrapped a towel around himself and then went into his room to change.  
  
To his chagrin, Willow had fallen back asleep, which allowed him to change in peace, and to think for himself for a while. Then, pushing his chair to the door, he got into it and rolled out into the hallway.  
  
The first thing he saw was his childe sitting in a corner reading a book. Calling out to him, he told him to go and fetch him something to eat, and then he rolled around looking for his ripe wicked plum.  
  
Drusilla was nowhere to be found, and after speaking with one of the minions, Spike learned that she and Angel had left for LA for a couple of days, leaving him in charge, and with a note saying to prepare the witch for when they got back the following evening.  
  
In anger and disgust, Spike sat there contemplating what to do.  
  
What's wrong, Spike? He heard Willow's voice in his head.  
  
Angelus and Dru are in LA until tomorrow. He wasn't you ready for when he comes back. Spike answered.  
  
He waited for her answer, but none came. Witch? Did you hear me?  
  
Yeah. She said blandly with no feeling. Spike, I'm hungry.  
  
Okay, pet, I'll be right there. He said and then began wheeling back to his room. Upon entering, he got out of the chair, and grabbed a protein drink and poured it gently into her mouth. At first it seemed like she would choke, but eventually her automatic mechanism for swallowing kicked in and she began to drink the liquid.  
  
"Full?" Spike asked.  
  
Yeah. Thanks. Willow answered and then waited a moment.  
  
All of a sudden she turned a shade of red, and Spike knew that embarrassment was creeping up on her. "What is it, pet?" he asked with a smirk.  
  
Spike, could you wash me? I really need to bathe.  
  
If Spike could have blushed he bloody well would have, but without a sound he picked her up out of the bed and carried her into the bathroom, where he systematically took her clothes off. Placing her on the floor, he took his own clothes off, and carried her into the shower with him. Holding her with one hand he used the other to wash her. Is this okay, luv? He asked her, before reaching down between her legs and washing her.  
  
Yes. Willow hissed in his mind, and Spike automatically smelled her arousal. His own body reacted to it immediately. He groaned and then quickly got out of the shower and dried her with a towel and then putting her into a clean shirt of his, laying her back on the bed. Then he went back into the shower, putting it on cold, and allowed his arousal to die. Twenty minutes later he was redressed and entering his bedroom again. Finding the witch looking at the ceiling and humming another tune.  
  
Catching the tune of Evanesence's 'My Immortal', he lay down next to her and sang along with her. Eventually hearing her sing the words with him in his head, as he pulled her close and held her against him.  
  
I'm so tired of being here suppressed by all my childish fears  
  
and if you have to leave  
  
I wish that you would just leave  
  
'cause your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me  
alone  
  
Chorus:  
  
These wounds won't seem to heal  
  
this pain is just too real  
  
there's just too much that time cannot erase  
  
when you cry I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
when you scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
and I'd held your hand through all of these years  
  
but you still have all of me  
  
You used to captivate me by your resonating light  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
  
Your face it haunts, my once pleasant dreams,  
Your voice it chased away all of the sanity in me  
  
Chorus  
  
I tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone but so you're  
still with me I've been alone all alone  
  
when you cry I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
when you scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
and I'd held your hand through all of these years  
  
but you still have all of me...  
  
Neither noticed the tears cascading down their cheeks or comfort they were receiving from the other as they each thought about the loved one they had lost.  
  
When Willow woke up, she saw that she was alone. Spike?  
  
Yeah, luv, I'm here, just getting your clothes washed. Angelus will be back tonight, and we need to have you ready for him. What'll happen?  
  
Most likely he'll tie you up and then release the bond. Then he'll take you for his own. Spike told her.  
  
Willow shivered at the thought. Don't worry, Pet. I'll be with you the whole time. Spike said, and for some reason it comforted her. Why she didn't know, but it did.  
  
Thank you, Spike, she said solemnly, but didn't hear a reply. Instead she stared around the room that had become her safe haven. Odd though it was, she was thankful to have it. Spike? She eventually asked, boredom getting to her.  
  
Yes, pet?  
  
What are you doing?  
  
I'm doing some minion work. I'll get back to you soon.  
  
Could you ask Ronan to read me something? She wondered, at least her protector's childe would keep her company, and keep her from going insane from boredom while he wasn't around.  
  
Sure thing. She heard him say, and moments later there was a knock on the door, followed by the Irish vampire entering with a smile.  
  
"Hello, madam, I see you're doing much better today. My sire asked me to read to you, and so I chose one of my favorite pieces of literature. I hope you like it too." Willow looked at the book in interest. He held it out to her and she read the cover. Alice in Wonderland. It was her favorite. Her father had read it to her whenever he was in town, which wasn't often, so she treasured the book.  
  
Looking back up at Ronan she saw him smile, "I hope that when you get your speech back we can converse on this. My master told me that you're very intelligent for a girl, and I'd love your opinion on the book. I used to read it to my sister, she loved the Cheshire Cat. I myself prefer the queen of hearts." He said. He pulled a chair from somewhere in the room and came to sit next to her, and Willow heard him open the book. Then taking a large, and for him unnecessary, breath, he began to read. "Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank, and of having nothing to do...."  
  
Willow was so lost in the story that she didn't notice when Spike came into the room, and got out of his chair and slid into the bed next to her. It wasn't until he spoke up that she was startled to realize where he was.  
  
"That's enough for today, Ronan. You can leave us now."  
  
"Yes sire." He said, "I hope to see you tomorrow, Miss." He then turned and left the room.  
  
Hi, Spike, Willow said, unsure what was wrong. If he had been thinking she hadn't caught any of his thoughts, being too engrossed in the story.  
  
"Luv, Angelus is coming back tomorrow."  
  
Oh. Willow said knowing full-well what that meant. The loss of her virginity and her turning. She'd never again be allowed into the sun. Nor would she enjoy the pleasures of life: growing up, getting married, having children. It was not meant to be. She sighed a little in despair and closed her eyes wishing the nightmare; her life was at the moment, away.  
  
Spike? She said cautiously.  
  
"Yes, luv?"  
  
I'm scared.  
  
Spike pulled her into his arms, trying to comfort her. If he had thought through what he was doing, he would have pulled back automatically. However, as it was, he would do nothing of the sort, considering that though he didn't even realize it yet, he liked the redheaded witch. He liked her more than he probably would have liked, and every second spent with her that feeling deepened. At the rate he was going, in a fortnight he would be madly in love with her, with no way out.  
  
He hadn't thought of Drusilla in a long time. He was no longer mooning over her, or caring what his sire was doing to his princess. All that would pass through his mind was what his sire would do to the girl in his arms. And if he thought into that any deeper, he would not only find himself disgusted at the thought, but also afraid of where those thoughts would lead him.  
  
"I'll be with you the whole time, pet. No need to fear." He said and held her even closer.  
  
Thank you, Spike, She said closing her eyes and falling asleep.  
  
Willow was dreaming of a field with daisies. The sun was shining and there was a slight breeze. When she opened her eyes, she inhaled the fresh air and took in the sun's heat beating on her skin. Hearing a noise she turned around and saw Spike looking around frantically and confused, as he didn't turn to ash.  
  
"Hi," she said.  
  
"Luv, where are we?"  
  
"About two miles from my parents summer house in Indiana. This is where I dream about."  
  
"This is your dream?"  
  
She smiled warmly and nodded as she took his hand and pulled him so that they were both lying on the ground and looking up at the sky. She looked at the shapes the clouds made: cats, dogs, and trains. "I love this place. It's so beautiful and peaceful. I love to lay here and think of my life and my friends. I feel safe here."  
  
"I can understand why," Spike said.  
  
"You're the first person I've shared it with." She then said.  
  
Spike felt proud. He was so sillyly proud to be the only one that knew about his witch's dreamscape. As if he was the only one worthy of such knowledge. "Thank you." He replied lifting himself on an arm to look into her eyes. As soon as he did he was spellbound. He realized what all his emotions were adding up to, and instead of being disgusted he felt a sense of happiness and elation run through him. His smile grew as he identified what it was, and then looking down at her, he saw that having read his mind she felt the same about him.  
  
Swooping down he claimed her lips with his own, and pulled her closer to him. Tongues dueled and hands roamed as they sought to learn each other. Eventually Willow found herself under the vampire, and all thoughts were lost. Clothing began to get strewn across the grass as their passion grew.  
  
The loud opening of his bedroom door awaked Willow and Spike as Angelus came in to claim what was his.  
  
"Don't you two look cozy," Angelus voice sneered at them.  
  
Willow had expected that the moment Angelus came in that he, Spike, would have jumped as far away as possible. However, with Angelus' immediate and unsuspected arrival, Spike only held her tighter. Perhaps it was because he could walk, but didn't want Angelus to Know. Willow preferred to think that it was because of her, or at least she hoped it was.  
  
"Have a nice trips, Angelus?" Spike asked as if nothing unusual was happening. "Took Dru dinner and dancing. Dinner was stale but the dancing was fun." He seemed to study them and smirked. "How was everything here?"  
  
"Well, you know, you really made it easy for me when you made it so she couldn't talk, move, or anything." Spike said, but to Willow he told her: Just keep quiet, luv, and don't pay attention. Go to sleep or daze off.  
  
Willow didn't think that going to sleep would make Angelus happy, nor did she think she could. She began to sing to herself as she had the last couple of days. The first thing coming to mind:  
  
Two days past eighteen  
He was waiting for the bus in his army greens  
Sat down in a booth in a café there  
Gave his order to a girl with a bow in her hair  
He's a little shy so she gives him a smile  
And he said: "would you mind sitting down for a while  
And talking to me I'm feeling a little low."  
She said: "I'm off in an hour and I know where we can go.  
So they went down and they sat on the pier  
He said: "I bet you got a boyfriend but I don't care  
I got no one to send a letter to.  
Do you mind it I send one back here to you?"  
  
I cried  
Never gonna hold the hand of another guy  
Too young when they told her  
Waiting for the love of a traveling soldier  
Our love will never end  
Waiting for the solder to come back again  
Never more to be alone  
When the letter said 'a soldier's coming home.'  
  
So the letters came from an army camp  
In California then Vietnam  
And he told her of his heart  
It might be love and all of the things he was so scared of  
Said when it's getting rough over here  
I think of that day sitting down at the pier  
And I close my eyes and see your pretty smile  
Don't worry but I won't be able to write for a while  
  
I cried  
Never gonna hold the hand of another guy  
Too young when they told her  
Waiting for the love of a traveling soldier  
Our love will never end  
Waiting for the solder to come back again  
Never more to be alone  
When the letter said 'a soldier's coming home.'  
  
One Friday night at a football game  
The Lord's prayer said and the anthem sang  
A man said:  
"Folks would you bow your heads for a list of local Vietnam dead."  
Crying alone under the stands  
Was a piccolo player in the marching band  
And one name read but nobody cared  
But a pretty little girl with a bow in her hair.  
  
I cried  
Never gonna hold the hand of another guy  
Too young when they told her  
Waiting for the love of a traveling soldier  
Our love will never end  
Waiting for the solder to come back again  
Never more to be alone  
When the letter said 'a soldier's coming home.'  
  
When she finished she'd seen Angelus leave with Spike wheeling behind him. Scared and wondering what was going on she called to her protector. Spike?  
  
I'm here, luv.  
  
Where are you?  
  
Outside. Angelus wanted me to accompany Dru feeding. Willow, whatever you do, don't cry. Scream as much as you need to, but don't cry. He'll-  
  
Willow didn't catch what else he said he said as the door opened and Angelus walked in smirking.  
  
He's already here. She told him and before he could say anything in return, she'd already turned his mind from her's. She didn't want him to witness her weakness, should she cave in and cry.  
  
"Willow... it took me so long to get Dry happy enough to let me have you, but finally." He stopped. Looking at her he began to contemplate. "I'm thinking, do I want to lift the spell? If I do, I get to have you struggle, and if I don't you'll be laying there in wait for me." However there didn't seem to be much of a decision to make as Angelus muttered something. Mare seconds later Willow could feel herself move again. But, just as her ability was restored, it was taken as Angelus covered her with himself.  
  
Willow panicked. What could she do? She opened her mind to Spike who seemed to have stopped calling to her.  
  
Spike? She called, receiving no reply. Spike! She called again.  
  
Pet! Are you okay?  
  
Spike I need a loose piece of wood. She said, I need to stake him.  
  
On the table on the far right hand side you'll find a pencil.  
  
Willow looked over moving her head to the side allowing Angelus better access for him to nip and kiss at her jugular. Seeing it, she concentrated and when she pulled herself together she got it in the air.  
  
Then all that was left was the ash of the former master vampire all over her.  
  
Spike, I did it, you'd better get Drusilla away.  
  
I've already knocked her out.  
  
Bye Spike, She said hiding her sorrow.  
  
Bye Willow. Came the answer and the connection cut.  
  
Getting off the bed, Willow picked the pencil up and left the room. She saw Ronan sitting in a corner. "Hey, Ronan."  
  
"Miss, you're okay." His soft Irish accent soothed.  
  
"I'm fine, thanks. Come on."  
  
"Yes, miss." Ronan said and followed.  
  
Willow got out with few mishaps and then began heading to Giles' place. She felt betrayed, even though she had told Spike to go. She didn't really understand the feeling, but it was there.  
  
"He's really not coming back?" Ronan asked.  
  
"No." Willow said and taking his hand led him to Giles. 


End file.
